The harder you try, the worse it gets.

Hmm, it seems my readership lately is going down and down, as I see less and less comments. Perhaps I should regale with more stories of my fish tank. I am sure this would be more entertaining for all of you. Did you know my shrimps were pregnant? They have masses of eggs sticking out of there bellies that looks more like white fungus. I wonder if my other fish will eat the babies? I would feel bad about this, but then again, I would save on flake food for awhile. Its a toss up.

My Uncle Mike wrote me a letter the other day. I was kinda surprised. Not that he likes to write letters, just that he wrote one to me. I remember when I was young and he used to tell us about writing to the government, to the president, governor, and whoever else thought might listen to his hand written letters. I especially liked the stories about him writing to his boss about all the marijuana use and stealing that goes on around him at his place of work. I bet he gives them lots of heartburn.

His letter to me was quite funny. Him and my brother are secretly developing the fuel vapor engine that goes 200 mph. I think this is exactly what Highway 8 needs in Chisago County. It already has one of the highest accident rates in Minnesota--too many fast teenagers behind too many slow retired old ladies makes for a twisted metal combinations. Uncle Mike also wrote about only wanting live ammo as a little boy and as a young man. I still think he secretly wants this now. Uncle Mike's yellow pages ad also isnt working. He gets too many telemarketer calls and has found a way to make money suing them. I wish him luck with this new found money making method, but for now, I will just promote his day job. Should any of you in Minneapolis/Golden Valley area need ANY kind of locksmithing skills, Spike`s Lock and Key is the man to call. But be warned, he only takes cash and likes to go into rants on the mention of credit cards. But this is mildly entertaining too.

Today was a dismal day in the laboratory. One of my reactions blew up in my chest, but no harm was done (to me). Actually, it wasn´t an explosion, but a implosion of glassware under high vacuum. It pretty much has the same effect of sending glass fragments, solvent, and my precious product evenly across the laboratory. I had spent so much time making this chemical though, I had to gently scrape and collect it off the glass shards throughout the lab. These are the real skills learned in the post-doctorate laboratory.

For the second time I tried to sell my laptop on ebay, and for the second time, I had some con artist buy it. He tried to tell he uses a special banking procedure that puts the money right inside my bank account instantly, just as long as I give him my pin code number. I sent him a fake one, and told him I will be expecting the money REAL SOON! The first con artist who won my computer on ebay said to ship it fast because it was a special b-day present for his son in Nigeria. Just hearing Nigeria raised some red flags. Mr. Scammer then sent a fake Paypal email to me stating that the payment was already in my account, and the package could be shipped immediately. I think the only ones on ebay these days are con artists. So now I have to wait the mandatory 14 days before I can relist the item while ebay sends out moronic email after moronic email to the buyer, gently asking them to please please pay the seller so we (ebay) can keep our raping 15% fee! I hate them all.

What do you think I should do with all these con artists?

Everyday Life

Feeling floundering, flippant, and fairly philosophical. Enjoy my wondering wonderful word ways.

Esprit Libre, Esprit Libre!!!!

All your thoughts
your every day life
gone in moment
in insignificant strife

your here and after
your religious lark
matters no more
when the lights go dark

dont take the word
of politician or priest
live now, live free
enjoy life's feast

succulent sweet strawberry
flavorful food from friends
beer boasting brothers
taken together, transcends

piles of money
loads of good looks
security and safety
knowledge of books

take your risks
earn the reward
keep your passion
a fine edged sword

then stories you shall have
of lands explored and had
fights won and lost
Lovers, gladden and sad

your heart will be
scarred and tore
left and loved
yet, something to adore

yearn for experience
a way to give back
and turn around those
who only have slack

meet your soulmate
stay and hold true
and never forget
to say, I love you

for all your thoughts
in your every day strife
will then never be gone
in someone elses life.

Wings and Weddings.

The bride and groom
a life together soon
first broken plates they clean
not the last to be seen....

strange man in the back
couldn't get a plate to crack
so he laughs and waits
for the shirtless dancing he creates

For the past couple of weeks now, my kitchen cleaning skills seem to be deteriorating, now that my good friends, the german cockroaches, are all resting in heaven having a martini and cigar with George Burns. The consequences of sloth does not go unnoticed in nature, and other insects have moved into my kitchen. The new roommates go by the name of fruit flies and seem to like the contents of my warm and moist summer garbage. Well, its hard to hate these cute little fruit flies, so I have done to little to deter them, including taking out the garbage. I just open the windows a little more in the apartment so the smell doesn't build up so bad. Like all of life, ignoring one set of problems only brings others to fruit.

So on Wednesday this week, I get home late from a long day and head directly to the kitchen. As I walk in, flip on the kitchen light, I only faintly notice a large brown thing the size of a fist going past my head and out of the kitchen. I'm so tired that I only given some thought about what that could have been about 30 seconds later, as I start to chop some garlic. Hmm, I think, a bit big to be a moth. I better go see what that is. I head to the living room and as soon as I turn on the light, something immediately starts to fly. Oh christ I think, a bat. He must of came in for the plethora of fruit flies.

Have you ever seen Cujo? or even better, read the book by Stephen King? Well I remember watching the movie when I was very young and always being scared a bat was going to bite me and give me rabies. I would turn into a mad kid with foam at the mouth trying to bite everyone. As this mouse sized bat started to fly, I knew the war was on, and it was going to be him or me. So with my garlic chopping knife, it was a duel to the death. So I ran around the room trying to cut off one of his wings, and then once in awhile he would perform some aerial maneuver he probably learned dogfighting in WWII, and start chasing me with his rabies infected teeth. I would then dive for cover and be on the run back to the kitchen where I could gather courage for the next battle. A very worthy opponent this bat. It finally ended in a truce, when he flew out the window. But I have a feeling he will be back..... For now, I think I will take out the garbage.


So last Friday, I did a half-marathon here in Marburg. The marathon here is a bit unusual as it starts at 7pm. My official time was 1:56:29 and I placed 419th. I was only 46 minutes behind the winner. At least I kept my goal of under two hours. The running was great though, and the extrovert inside me loves the crowds and their cheers as I run past. Unfortunetly, I have no good photos of me running along, looking tired, looking like I would rather be drinking beer.

Yesterday, I went to a wedding of a labmate. It contained free beer, a heavy metal band complete with a large angry Russian, and a very plastered Terry. What more could you ask for? The labmate was/is still in this band and played drums for the guests. They band even pulled out a rock ballad for the bride, which the groom sang to her. It was the perfect wedding party. I'm not sure some of the older crowd liked all the head banging, but it sure was entertaining to me. One of the traditions here is the wedding guests smashing plates on the ground for the new couple to clean up, their first chore 'together'. It gets a bit complicated though. As soon as the mess it almost cleaned, the couple is pulled apart if they are not krafty, and the mess spread out in the street again for them to reclean. I like the metaphor. I didn't like the hangover, or the pictures I seen today.

Nightly News by Insomniac

Everyone needs a little American Cake sometimes.

It is an unfortunate truth in life that one persons loss, usually comes at the hands of anothers gain. My failure to sleep tonight (my loss) brings me here to you, for if I cannot sleep, I shall write the blog, and hopefully entertain your lives for a minute or two (your gain). Then again, a risk of my reading might be your loss too.

So my Independence Day party was a smashing success. Unlike past parties that involved family and friends, there were no friendship fights, dame dramas, or pestering police. It was refreshing change. Dont get me wrong, fights, domestic disturbances, and swat teams always make for a fun party full of stories, just as long as its not MY place.

Upon arriving at my house, one of the friends brought a Sheesha. After making sure there was no hardcore drugs to smoke in it that would make the students want to fly like birds out my second floor window, I was quite happy it was there. I like the flavored tobacco in these waterpipes. It is something like breathing/tasting flavored air--usually tastes something like smoked apple wood or something like that. Plus you get to breathe out lots of flavored smoke and practice smoke rings. Very entertaining.

At my party I supplied beer, Tequila, Jack Daniels, and Southern Comfort. There simply is no 4th of July without these basic essentials. Another friend even brought me a second bottle of Jack Daniels as a gift so there was Jack and Cokes for all, which always gets a party started rather fast. I played the friendly bartender and made sure everyone had a mixed drink that was rather strong. The JD went rather quick this way unfortunetly. I did a Tequila shot with one Chinese post-doc and she drank half and poured the rest on the carpet. I'm not quite sure of this tradition, but to each his or her own.

The only fire works allowed are Sparklers. They call them Wunderkerzen, which translates to Miracle Candles. I bought a hundred of these for the party and they were all burned within about 10 minutes. Each person had two and between all of us, we put on quite the pyrotechnic show. Since it was late at night, with stomachs full of JD and beer, many of us thought of ourselves as techno dancers with a fresh pair of glow sticks. We were twirling, whirling and swirling to our hearts content, a cross between heavy metal rockers and ballet dancers, or so it looked to me. Miracle Candles indeed.

My acrylic paints were even put to good use. I saved my old refrigerator from the kitchen renovation and made it into a permanent beverage cooler (translation: Beer Fridge). It is a rather ugly looking thing unfortunetly, so I had some of the more artistic friends do some caligraphy painting on it. With big bold letters of "Das Bier Ist Hier", no one wonders where to find the beer anymore.

Then of course, there is the usual party behavior--one girl wanted to take her dress off but I convinced her not too, one guy proved he really is the real spider-man by climbing up the drain pipe and entering my apartment through one of the windows. Outside, we sang aweem buway--The Lion Sleeps tonight--maybe the Lion was sleeping, but the neighbors werent and let us know that they weren't...and that are singing was way off key. Who likes a critic anyway?

I think one of the best parts of the party was the end. Two girls decided it was there job to clean up the party mess, all the dishes, the kitchen, my apartment, and even make my bed. It never been cleaner. Yes, they get invited next time or once a month on Sunday. They also get all the beer they want.

Ok, its 4am and I try sleep once again. Here is some pics for you:

http://picasaweb.google.de/tybalt77/070704?authkey=AVYOHyDQvmQ

Independence Day in Marburg.

I decided since I cant go home for the 4th of July party, I have one here. Sometimes in life, you just have to make your own happiness. Here is the invitation--you can come too. It is complete with Editor's Notes.

Dear colleagues,

To celebrate the fact that I am several thousand kilometers away from

the celebrations of my favorite holiday, and to subtly remind the

British that we don't need their English Tea, I shall have a

Independence party at either the Rosenpark (Site of the former planet

Pluto, by the Hauptbahnhof) if the weather is good, or my house if the

weather is raining, tornado, hurricane, volcano, mass anarchy, etc.

Editors note: Marburg has the sun and planets geometrically placed

around the city. So you can literally 'Run to the Sun'. Hence, we

meet at Pluto.

I will supply Chips, Beer, and the famous American hamburger, freshly

grilled with cheese, onions, and all the ketchup you could ever want.

There will be no Hackfleisch an Brot however. That's just plain Wild.

Hackfleisch an Brot: a popular sandwich consisting of raw hamburger and onions.

Feel free to bring more food, little food, or no food at all for

others to share. Freedom is everything here.

Feel free to dress as medieval knights, cartoon characters, Uncle Sam

himself, or wear nothing--in true independent and democratic spirit. I

am a equal opportunity partier, but encourage more women to show up

(drunk).

Persons wearing red, white, AND blue get all the beer they want. But

those that dont, probably will too.

You can also bring tea bags, but I am not sure what we will do with

them. I am afraid if we throw them in the river, some ducks will die.

The German graduate students asked earlier in the week if they could bring

tea bags to throw in the river running along the Park--to reenact the Boston

Tea party.

While the constitution says all men are created equal, I have a

feeling some ducks are not.

Any who can bring games, will also get to drink all the beer they

want. If you have to ask the date of the party, you are not invited.

Someone in my german class asked me when the 4th of July was. They are not invited.

Will a 12-pack of beer be enough?