Last few days in Singapore

Day 2-5

I have but one responsibility to do today and that is make it to dinner with future boss. So the rest of the time I spend sightseeing in Singapore. First things first, I go see the campus I might someday work at. The NTU campus is located on the farthwest side of the island of Singapore.

First I should explain a little about Singapore. It is whats called a city state, in that it is both a city and a country. It is an island about the size of Road Island. It lies just below Malaysia, almost touching the equator. It was once a part of Malaysia, but Malaysia disowned it around 1955. It shares a unique fact in History, in that it gained its independence through no choice of its own.

Some other cool facts are: to fly from Minnesota to Singapore, Its about 2o-24 hrs no matter whether you go east or west. Business has also come in droves to Singapore do to its very low tax structure. If I get a check, it is only taxed at 7% income tax.

It has gotten a bad name in the past because of its very strict laws. For example, eating on the subway or spitting on the sidewalk is a 1000 dollar fine. Caning is used for violent offenders (rape and assault) and anyone caught with drugs is put to death. But over my five day stay there, I only seen the police once, and that was while walking downtown. I was also drinking on the subway a few times, but I didnt get caught--I kinda forgot about the rules.

So back to the NTU campus. To me it looks more like a resort. There is many chinese and japanese gardens with fountains and tropical flowers and trees everywhere. All the sidewalks are covered so a person can get from campus to another without being drenched by the many tropical rainstorms. The building all look new and fairly staight of the art. They should be, as they are well well funded. The project I would be on just got a 10 million dollar grant for 5 yrs of research.

The university is well known for its engineering departments, of which I was interviewing for. I was in the Dept of Materials Science and Engineering, where they want someone with experience in biodegradable polymers and nanoparticles, something I learned about a lot more since I have been in Germany.

They want to design new types of stents for the heart. Stents are small metal coils inserted in the heart after a heart attack-- the metal coils keep the artery open so the blood can keep flowing. Whats great about this procedure is that it does not require open heart surgery. They can insert them through the artery in the leg, follow the artery up to the heart with a guidewire, and once in place the doctors expand the stent, which keeps the stent in the occluded (plugged up) section of the artery. This is the old technology. Metal stents have some problems in that they can cause blood clotting (or technically speaking, thrombosis) around the stent after a number of years, eventually stopping the blood flow and causing another heart attack.--so the design needs to be improved

Now, the people who want to hire me, want to make biodegradable stents. Instead of metal, we make it out of a plastic that gradually goes away after 8-12 months, kind of like the new stitches and sutures that never need to be taken out. After 8 months of having a stent in the artery, it has been found that the artery and the atherosis plaque taken on the shape of the stent, so the stent isnt needed anymore. The artery still stays wide open. Blood clotting is much less of a factor too, since there is no red blood cells sticking on the stent. The difficult part is finding plastic stents that dissolves gradually and does not come off in chunks. Chunks in the circulatory system is bad bad news for many organs, particularily in the brain.

And if it ever works, companies will be buying this patent left and right, I will be....a millionaire?.....no, probably not, but I should be able to afford a fine meal at Perkins or a Doener.

So this research would be a whole new field for me, changing gears from the field of drug delivery to biodegradable stents has some excitement in it.

The problem is living in Singapore and the lifestyle there. I think this will be the most difficult hurdle to get over. It seems the ethnic groups here really keep to themselves and mix as little as possible. I was looking at the ads and everyone wanted specific roomates--indians wanted indian roomates, chinese wanted only people from china, etc etc. I expect it isnt like this for everyone, but I read a lot of ads like it.

This living conditions, such as apartment space and living space is definitely smaller than what I would be used to. To live with same expectatons of living space in Singapore, this would cost about 1000-2000 per month, living with a roomate in a condo. But these prices seem a little steep.

The other option is living in the government housing, of which is the most prevalent there. Sharing a room in these crowded apartments is slightly less at about 500-900 dollars. The problems is living in the govt homes is the space. Each building is about 25 stories high, and buildings looked stacked from 20-40 apts per block. The people here are really packed in and its hard for me to imagine I would be comfortable in this environment day after day. I walked through a apartment courtyard of one of them and I seen a fleet of cockroaches scatter. Big ugly ones too-1-2 inches long. But this is the norm for tropics and I seen the cockroaches everywhere on Singapore. Like seeing ants in MN. They just seemed pretty thick around the housing, which unnerves me. I had to share close quarters with ants, spiders, and centipedes in past housing. But cockroaches I cant do. Call me weak.

There are a lot of advantages too, and I have to carefully weigh them. The food is great and fresh seafood is really cheap. 10 skewers of fresh grilled and marinated butterfly shrimp costed 2 dollars. I was eating these everywhere. My last day there one of the professors took me to restaurant located in the rainforest. One had to look out for green snakes in the trees. We ate at the edge of pond and turtles and carp swam right up to us, looking for fish food.

Scuba diving school is cheap and they have great dive sites close by in parts of Malaysia and many sunken ships to go look through. I have always wanted to learn how to sail, and I cant imagine a better location to learn than in the tropics. Since Singapore is a massive asian airport hub, flights to Indonesia, Malaysia, Vietnam, Korea, Thailand etc are cheap--round trip airfares are under 200 dollars and the dollar goes pretty far in these countries. It would be fascinating to visit all these lands, meet the people, eat the food, and of course, try all those homebrews. I think a good goal would be one new city every other month.

Ok, back in Germany now. I went from 30 C to 3 C (90 F to 35 F) in a space of 14 hrs of flight. Next stop: America on Sunday.

A new force is in town at Nanyang Technological University.

Day 1

I am currently on the plane to Singapore, and I am really looking forward to getting out of Germany for a few days. The last week has been cold, wind blustery days that beg for a hot fire and two or three cups of their famous hot and spicy Gluhwein. It beats hot chocolate any day of the week. This tube ride it going to take me 12 hrs to complete, and I am afraid that with my nervous shaky leg, I just must tear this whole plane apart. Sitting in one spot for 12 hr has to be in the top ten tortures for this animated man. The food is good though--I get served special meals on the plane that is beating the pance off of what they give anyone else. I went on Singapore airlines website and ordered the special seafood meal that turns out to be salmon with dill sauce. I dont know how airline chefs do it, but its far away better than what I could ever cook. I do everything I can to kill time. Books, movies on tiny airplane screens, fidget, broken conversation with Germans next to me, 2 min conversations with the stewardess, and fidget some more. My god how much longer can I stay in this prison at 30000 feet? We are traveling at 1000 kph, yet my tea never sloshes over, nor does my beer. Note to self, flying on Singapore airlines, they give you all the free drinks you want. I think my german neighbor is on her 4th blood mary. This is such irony, having free drinks on singapore airlines, as I later findout the typical drinks costs about 10-15 dollars in Singapore. Since I am precognisant, I have one more Tiger beer.

Coming off the airplane, the first thing that hits me is the thick blanket of humidity. I feel the sweat pores awaken for the first time in months. I dont they will be up for the production needed. I head straight for the restrooms. I have to freshen up and wash my face and pits. Ahh thats better--I feel the lethary slip off and the five senses back on 100% power. Now just where is my old and beatup luggage? I find it is waiting for me. Wow. Thats efficiency. This whole airport is. Before leaving, I go through customs, declaring nothing. My backpack and luggage is x-rayed, just like everyone else and now I am free to go.

I breathe a mouthful of fresh cool AC air on the subway--time for me to navigate this little island and find my hotel. Only 10 min from the airport I was told. I get off the subway and back into the island oven. No map, just intuition for me. I walk here, I walk there--ask directions, more walking in the opposite direction, ask again, go north, ask for a map, not possible. I've never seen so many 7-11's in any location. More walking, more sweating, skin gliding inside my clothes. On a bus, its cool and I dont want to get off. Finally, I find the street of the hotel by riding a random bus, and 2 hrs later, I find my hotel.

No early checkin she tells me, it costs 10 per hour. I found the cheapest hotel in Singapore, away from downtown in the Malaysian district. Its clean, smells good, and the AC works. Thank god. It even has a bar across the street called the 51 Jazzy. I will make a visit later, I think. A cold beer is going to do down easier than water than Newton's apple.

I take a walk to the city and after three subway stops, I realize what a bad plan this is. No one is walking on the sidewalks here--everyone is waiting at bus stops and subway stops. In the Malaysian district, the sweaty white man sticks out. I get a few stares and some people are saying strange things to me, but I walk on. Enough sight seeing, Im getting on the subway too.

I pass the day with bad navigation, and a large tourist map. Its pretty much useless unless I am trying to find McDonalds and their new McCholesterol Double Big Mac. I find an open square and contemplate strategy. My look isnt working. My hair is too long, and has just become a sweat sponge. It needs to be cut. The goatee is great for the cold wind in Marburg, but feels like a pocket of red glowing coals here in Singapore. I think on about the goatee, but the head hair has to go.

My stylist-in-training doesnt know how to shave a man, so only the hair gets cut. I feel slightly more in style with my new pointy, spiky, gel sculputred hair cut. Let the catwalk begin.

The night has fallen, and I am refreshed from my air-conditioned nap. To get over the jetlag I fought to stay awake as long as I could, I cant sleep on airplanes, but it was a struggle around hour number 30. After 2 hrs of sleeping though I am ready for that cold tasty beer I told myself I was getting at the 51 Jazzy. Let the night begin.

I walk into the loud and dark bar and notice asian girls everywhere with miniskirts or daisy dukes on. Well, at least scenery isnt bad. The bar is packed and a band from Thailand is setting the place on fire. Not a table is open. As befitting the asians, they are doing the she-bang song, made famous on American Idol. I get over my single guy bar phobia and walk up to another guy sitting alone and ask if I can share his table. He shrugs and I sit down. What happens next is a little shocking to me, to a guy always has to work a little to get the girls talking to me (but hey that work I kinda like). A cute skinny little vietnamese girl comes over to me-looks me in the eye, smiles, and decides to sit. On me. Either I have one hell of a new hair cut, or something else is going on in this place that I am wholly ignorant of.

I am getting alot of looks too. I am only white guy in see of black hair and yellow skin. I get the feeling their is fresh meat in the air, and it is coming only from me.

My new friend stays sitting on my lap for a minute or two while wiggling to the music. There is no wiggle back from me. I am too scared wondering where my wallet is currently and how the hell am I gracefully going to exit the situation. She looks back and smiles, and I smile feebly back. I thinks she gets I am uncomfortable, so she gets up and walks away. I think I need a little education.

My table partner (he's Indian) now has two girls with him, one on each leg, and his arms around both. Naturally you can imagine the size of the smile on his face. I interupt him though and ask him if he can answer a few questions. He says sure and we go back to smoking room. So I ask him how all this works, and I tell them this is my first exposure to the asian culture. He laughs a little bit but gives some straightforward advice. "Everyone gets a bitch on his arm, she's hired by the bar to make sure you are happy, and to pour you beer and keep you drinking. They are not prostitutes, rather working girls." I ask them whats the difference. Something about how they dont walk the street, but only work in here (the bar) and at the end of the night they goto your hotel, if the price is right. Its hard for to see the distinction, but thats probably my ignorance.

But we go back out into the melee and I learn all I have to keep from giving the wrong signals is to give a shake of the head when the come up and smile at me. Some go away but some continue to stand by me, and talk in broken english, and forever pouring you more beer. The try to get you to do beer slams with them using a cup about 5 sizes smaller. Pretty sneaky these girls. Turns out at this bar, all the girls are Vietnamese. Thats interesting I think, considering the past.

The attention is getting to me though, something I think would never have been possible. Too much attention from the ladies? Its like having too much money my ignorant self thought. But i see a pool table in the corner and decide a i need some singaporan bonding time. Besides that, I need to pace the drinking a little.

I meet two guys playing pool, both from Singapore and strike up a conversation and make instant friends. I tell them what a culture shock this whole thing is and they laugh the whole time. They tell me that this place is rather tame and I should go with them and I will see more interesting spots in Singapore. Being rather brave and a bit foolish I said lets go! They laugh and said why not. It is now 2 in the morning and the bar is closing anyway, with taxi's left and right picking the newly found lovers of the night. We are all hungry and I suggest they pick out a local favorite--they pay for the taxi and I told them I will pay for the late night meal.

They speak in chinese to the waiter and I have no idea what is being ordered. They ask me if I like spicy food. I boast that it is not a problem with me. No stupider words have ever been said. Our meal comes out quick along with some tea to drink. It is rice porridge, spicy black bean frog legs, and an oyster omelett. The whole thing is called Frog porridge I learn. Mix the spicy frog legs with the porridge, breath out dragon fire, douse with Tea, and repeat. Wipe watering eyes and sweating forehead when necessary. My god, if it hurts now, its going to be twice as bad later, but I keep this thought to myself. And I was wrong, it was three times as worse later.

The real tour of the working girls begins, and I know this is something I am never soon to forget. The girls are about a meter (3 feet) apart, stacked like this for 7 or 8 blocks straight. Almost shoulder to shoulder, dressed to impress, and reveal all they have to offer. I get a sense its a competitive environment down here with all the ladies looking for work. But there is plenty of males down here looking too. Every block is a new ethnicity; thai girls, indonesians, indians girls wearing saris, malaysians, and many, many more. Most imported like everything else here in Singapore. It feels titillating at first, all these girls wanting your attention, in reality, just wanting your money. But a slow revulsion sets in as I see all these girls working the night way, nothing more then fleshpots, where if my logic is right, they are already done with the fourth or fifth customer by 4 in the morning. I am tired and even this is no longer interesting, sightseeing a sad bit of life some people have to endure, and forever grateful to have options and opportunities that those I just stared at never did.

As I write this back at the hotel, eyelids heavier by the minute, I wonder if I can post this blog. I wonder what my small audience will think of it. Am I immoral, cause I decided to go out, look at the ladies of the night, see them face to face? Will I be judged one way or the other? Why did I feel such revulsion in the face of so much vice? It was another lesson in life, where I learned something about myself. No matter the judgement of others, I learned a few things, about me and those around me.

After a few days of pondering I have decided to post afterall. I hope you enjoyed my little adventure.

Mo

Where are you going next?

Where are you going next? That's the question that has hounded me for the last few months. My post-doc here in Marburg is almost done. At the end of January, it will be time to move on, and hopefully, move up. (But not to the Eastside, Jeffersons) I have been searching for jobs in every part of the world, wondering where the next opportunity will take me. Fortunately, there are job opportunities out there for me, which isn't allows the case, say if you were an autoworker or bank manager.

So I have applied to many countries: Germany, Ireland, China, USA, and Singapore. In the US, I have applied to a company in Huntsville, AL. I have never been to Alabama before, but I figure the state can't be too bad since Lynyrd Skynyrd made one of his number one hits about how sweet this state really is. I have an interview there on Dec. 19th--hopefully it is just before the xmas party.

I had another interview with Singapore, the day after I got home from Belgium. It was one of the strangest I ever had. I had to give a presenation over the internet while using Netmeeting Videoconferencing software. I was on camera so they could see and hear me, and was using my computer to control the powerpoint presentation--which they were also seeing on a projector in Singapore. It was bit difficult as I could always hear myself speaking in the background, as their speakers were right next to the microphone. Kinda felt like I was having a conversation with myself for 35 minutes. But it went OK, and last week they offered me the job, and at the moment they are putting together a 'salary package'--so I am a little excited to see what that will be.

So it should be a fun month of traveling. I believe next week will be a14 hr plane ride to Singapore if the salary package is acceptable. I want to see what I am getting into before considering going there. I wonder how I will like all that tropical weather, since I hear that it doesnt drop under 80-90 degrees F (30 C) all that often--it lies near the equator. I would also be the white minority there in a sea of Chinese, Malaysians, and Indians. The week after that, I will be hopscotching all over America. Frankfurt to Boston to Huntsville to Phoenix to (finally) Minneapolis on Dec 23 and back to Frankfurt on Jan 3. You cant imagine my airline bills. My credit card is filling up fast, just when I had it at zero.

My parents reminded me that I am their eyes as I go around the world--so I will try post some pics and videos soon--if I can keep from losing my camera all time. I am waiting for the credit card camera--so i can keep it in my wallet and take it out when I need it.

bourgois in belgium

I'm sitting in Ghent, Belgium right now, wondering what to do next. So I thought I would sit down at the internet cafe and write a little blog. Last night was a little crazy---I got kicked out of my hotel because the neighbors thought I was being a little to loud last night---this really sucks, because its really cold and rainy here and I have to find a place to stay for the night--this is on top of my giant headache--which was made much worse when the hotel management opened my hotel room door at 10 this morning--and told me I have to leave immediately. I think she was just mad I didn't invite her to the party. whats a guy to do?

the Belgium beer is really as good as I've heard. They have some bottles over here that are the still fermenting when you open them. You wouldn't think it but all that yeasty goodness in the bottle really makes for an interesting taste---and it doesn't expire until 2027. I was very impressed with this...the Belgians were telling me it gets better with age...just like me.

I'm off to buy some chocolate and some of those famous waffles.

Bon jour!

Hobnobbing in Boston

The trip to Boston didn't start so well--I missed my train, and damn near missed my flight. I showed up to the train station exactly 12 seconds too late. The frustration of running to the train only to see the doors close 50 feet in front of you face is only slightly worse than watching it pull away. So on to Plan B. I buy the more expensive bullet train ticket--realizing that even if it was arriving on time (it wasnt), that I would have exactly 45 minutes to get to the Frankfurt airport from the Frankfurt train station, before my plane took off into the clear blue skies of the Vaterland. So, on to plan C--the 120 km taxi ride, and with a steep steep price tag. Monday morning was going great, and I had just spent all my fun money.

Do you remember the old OJ commercials with him hurdling the suitcases and diving over old ladies? That was me--its the first time I did the 7 minute mile since I was 16. But I made my plane, only because it was delayed an hour. My seat neighbor was a soft spoken Russian immigrated older lady returning from the Motherland and back to the Boston suburbs. She complained of the russian mafia at home and didnt much like her visit back. She told me not to try and look for jobs in Russia. The plane I was on was quite new and had personal videos I could choose at my whim. I watched the Monk and some terrible martial art movies with Jackie Chan. Next time, I stick to the books.


I did as much networking as I possibly could at the conference--handing out business cards to anyone who looked my way. I got lucky with my poster placement, as it was placed right in front of the free beer and wine table. So as people waited in line, I made sure they new about my amazing nanoparticles, and the fact that I just happened to be searching for job. I even got a couple of inquiries in my email when I came back. One company in Ireland and another in Alabama. We'll see what shakes out.


I had some informal interviews while I was there, but I have no idea if it is going anywhere. I'm not even sure if the company can hire someone. At the conference I heard lots of unfriendly terms like 'hiring freezes' and '10% personnal reductions'. Words a jobseeker is afraid to contemplate. But I have Plan B, and thats teaching at community colleges. Plan C is a street musician. I know four songs on the violin--I think that should be enough.


I got lucky and was able to stay with a friend while in Boston, which saved me several hundred dollars in hotel costs. It also showed me how another faction of the population lives--so completely different than my own. I stayed with a young family, who has to balance two jobs, daycare, one car, long commutes, and a tight schedule. They made my life look easy. I found out that having kids can be quite expensive. I never realized the costs and the sacrifices--and probably still fully do not. Kudos to those that do it everyday and never complain.


I decided to be a little adventurous and put up a craigslist ad looking for a boston 'tour guide'. Surprisingly, a cute actress/nanny/writer took me up on the offer and showed me around Boston a little bit. Her email name was Jenny Notyet. Not her real name she told me--but the cover she uses for answering personal ads. She took me to the Famous Cheers Bar and we had a couple of drinks while the Patriots were dancing over the Broncos with touchdown after touchdown. At the same time my mom called--I wonder how that looked to her.


I found out she wasn't a big fan of the pharmaceutical industries either. It looks like everyone I meet is looking to the eastern medicines to cure everything. I find this a bit comical, but it looks like Big Pharma needs some better PR. We had a great time anyway and I learned about the medically fantastic advantages of having hundreds of needles placed all over your body. That sounds slightly erotic to me. Who says I dont have an open mind?


So, I am back to work now, missing the USA more than I care to admit, and still suffering from jetlag. I think I will be back for xmas, and am looking now at the horribly expensive flights in and around that time. This time, I expect I will be rather early for the train---say 12 seconds or so.

The Subway Strangers

Boston, and the english language--ahh, home again. Something one takes for granted is the ability to speak and understand everyone around you. I miss this so much in Germany it hurts--one cannot just meet random people when you speak the native language like a 2 year old. So, the Boston Subway was my treat to meet random people and enjoy sparking up random conversations with complete strangers:

Sarah and Jessica--two young girls from New York who asked me to take their picture on the Subway. I translated this to mean they were wildly attracted to me and wanted to hear everything about me. So I did. They were in Boston for a trade show about holistic healing and all-natural medicines. My history of working in the pharmaceuticals did not impress them at all, and nonchalantly told me I was the enemy. Ooooh, how I love the uphill battles! So I naturally suggested to them, that their were probably right, and how could I learn more? So they invited me to their trade show, at which they were going to at the next stop of the subway. I had to politely decline, as I was on my way to another social function. But I gave them my card, and told them I wanted to learn more.

Ralph the musician. A young college student sitting next to me started tapping his feet to an unknown tune. Ralph the muscian, was sitting across from this man. Ralph saw the tapping, and decided it was a subway jam session. Ralph started tap dancing, knocking hands against the knees, and making strange beats sounds with his mouth, all while sitting down. This might sounds rather comic, but in truth it was very impressive. He had some rhythms going I cant even describe--I just know talent when I see it--and he made a song right then and there. Turns out Ralph has been a musician in Boston for 30 years--plays about 5 instruments, wears dark sun glasses whereever he goes, and is frustrated with the young muscians of today--saying they have no soul or spirit in there music--just playing to get laid. He plays in a Blue joint and invited me there. I might have to go.

Julie, a petite young asian executive from some company in Baltimore I forget. Very cute and very frantic to catch her plane with her mom. She was asking me the fastest way to the airport-subway or taxi? I acted like I knew and said the subway. I might have been biased, cause, well, I was on the subway. She was in town for her sister's wedding. I asked her if this put pressure on her husband search, as she was single and looking (or I assumed--I saw no wedding ring). She just smiled at the question. But I got her to the airport (I was on the way there too) and she wished me a nice flight.

Taquisha, a BBW native boston, very drunk, very hungry, and very talkative. She told me all the best places in Boston to eat for cheap. She said her 205 pounds of love (her words, not mine) proved it. She was quite hilarious and made me laugh at all her descriptions of the 'succulent slices' and 'lucious lo mein' to be found. It made for an entertaining 1am subway ride.

The landmine of intellectual thought

Dear Cain and Able,

In this short life of ours, its a well known fact that we are going to meet different people, with different experiences, different upbringings, and vastly dissimilar environments. With this in mind, we cannot expect others to share the same thoughts---especially for those of us who know better.

Lets exchange opinions in the spirit that we both know we are not going to change each others mind. Its really next to impossible. Our opinions are shared only to show parts of our personality. After 30 years of building the sculpture, that is our mind, 5 minutes of conversation isnt going to do anything but loosen up some dust on that rock we call a brain. But it is stimulating never-the-less.

So the name of the game is this: when it comes to politics, religion, or jolly rancher flavors, we must come into the game knowing we already lost. Civility is everything, win or lose.

A Happy Public announcement made by the TWJS Broadcasting Corporation.


And now for the riddle of the day:

JBN
JBQ
JJOTC

Which nursery rhyme is this?

Freewheelin'

Most nights, I have an idea or a plan for a blog. Not tonight. Tonight, I just have the urge to write, but about what I dont know.

Frankly, I was surprised by the strange and twisted debate brought up by "Milk and Melamine". It looks like there some opinions out there, I am glad they found a place to be heard.

Even I have some opinions of my own. The first of which is something like this: People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. We can look down at China and say--OF COURSE you shouldn't trust your milk poisoning companies--cause they only deal in profit OF COURSE the government should have been regulating and testing for Melamine GOOD THING we Americans have it civilized with our free market system that doesn't need government intervention! wait I forget about.....

700 billion buyout ...caused by...
lowered interest rates....causing....
mass influxes of cash....pitting....
wallstreet vs mainstreet...then came
mccain to the rescue....because....
congress has to fixit....otherwise...
economic recession....after the...
banking meltdown....says the...
chicken little and the sky is falling news report every 10 minutes

"If China is willing to sacrifice its own children for profits, why wouldn't they do the same (or worse) to their exports?" I like this comment, but it could be easily rephrased:

"If America is will to sacrifice family mortgages for profits, why wouldn't they do the same (or worse) to international lending?" The ripple of the Wall Street implosion is spreading the world over....Notice that dollar slipping some more?

This whole Wall Street buyout to me smells something awful. But lets get a basic understanding of the facts as I have been able to deduce.

If we dont buyout Wall Street the consequences are stated by S. Pierce (an old friend):

"The alternative is the 1930's, a massive contraction of credit that sucks the growth out of the economy and causes a rapid contraction (depression). It's actually not too far away, as the system has been allowed to fester and grow unfettered due to the ridiculous mantra of "deregulation".

If the system were allowed to fail, as many are in favor of, businesses would run out of money, consumers would lose jobs, and the problem would become a feedback loop.

Even now you're seeing it. Borrowing costs for businesses have skyrocketed, because nobody wants to lend money, those costs are either passed onto consumers, or absorbed by the company through cost cutting (lost jobs). This, in turn, feeds back into the problem.

You see, this isn't as much about bailing out greedy bankers, but about propping up the system. After that's done we need to put back some of the regulations that would be prevented the problem in the first place."

Also not mentioned is that fact if we due buy out the companies, our national debt soars up another trillion dollars. And then the government has to issue more bonds---and then the dollar slips just a little bit lower still. Something has to change otherwise we will be 1:1 with the peso and the yen soon.

Once we do this, we set a precedent. Every time Wall Street is in trouble, there is going to be someone looking for the government helping hand. Government Bureaucracy will step in and issue more laws, more regulations, and more headaches. A few cycles of this, and the free market would be no more.

But then again economics is so unbelievable complex, that I cant find two experts that seem to agree in the news reports. So everything I say is probably rubbish. Have a good night.

Milk and Melamine

Recently, I am fascinated by the milk scandal now happening in China. It literally speaks volumes about their business practices, government ideology, and their economic revolution.

For those who have glossed over this recent news, let me give a short run down about the controversy. In an effort to increase profits out of the very tame industry of milk farming, the milk suppliers sought a method to water down the milk, without alerting the consumers or the government. Watering down milk is an old practice, so it is commonly tested for by measuring the amount of protein in a given volume. Very normal, boring chemistry. But the suppliers to the milk companies decided to use a simple trick--add an industrial chemical called melamine to the milk to mimic the protein (seen in my picture above). Now they can sell 100 liters of milk for 200 liters, by adding some water and a pinch of powder.

Now melamine is normally used to make plastics and fertilizer. Not extremely toxic, but nothing you would want to eat either, since it can shut down the kidneys by forming kidney stones. Now what strikes me so dumbfounded is the sheer carelessness for your own people, your own children. You could not have a found a better way to poison children in the Chinese culture. China, by history, is not much of a dairy consuming society. Just look at a Chinese menu next time you stop for Sweet and sour chicken. So the majority of those affected are those ingesting milk products like baby formula. Some 13000 infants and children are now hospitalized due to stones or kidney failure so far. Then you have the sheer logistical problem of testing the mass of panicked mothers and their babies from a country with 1.3 BILLION people.

Two things are very surprising about the whole story. The government was alerted to the problem in January. It wasn't until Sept. 11 that they alerted their own public. So much for the communist society where all people are accorded the same worth and respect. The astounding fact is that not one, not two separate companies were found, but 22 Chinese milk producers were found to have this industrial poison in the milk. When 22 companies agree on the same protocols, we have a name for that in the scientific literature--STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE.

Its the whole idea of history repeating itself, like the meat packing plants described in Upton Sinclair's The Jungle. Run away capitalism for unheeded and growing companies. A year or two ago it was melamine in the toys and food products, before that it was formaldehyde. I just wonder....Whats next?

Kisses to you.

This picture was taken moments before I lost my glasses for the umpteenth time in my life. I think I might need to buy old lady chains. At the optician, I found my my prescription steadily getting stronger. Maybe its time for LASIK afterall. Or, I just will stare into the laser pointer some more and hope for the best.

sleepless and sanguine

Sleep never comes easy to me. The old mind keeps turning like an old stone wheel, just looking for things to grind through. Tonight, I think of how much freedom I have in my life, compared to the others around me and those I read about.

Without much of a conscious thought, I have chosen a life with almost no tangibles except the clothes on my back and the few utensils I need for modern day appearances. One could take a look at all I dont have and be really disappointed. I have no car, and no car payment. No house, and no mortgage. No stocks, bonds, savings, or rich uncles ready to give me a large inheritance. I'm stuck with just me and am somehow quite content where I am.

I do have college loan debt, which sometimes is the only thing that keeps me working and glued to the spot I am in. I have this dream/fantasy of backpacking around the world, one step at a time while living as a street entertainer to buy food and new colored balls to juggle. Unfortunetly, I can't juggle though. But I still look at the sunsets and wonder why I am not walking toward them.

So I have to wonder if there is something wrong with me. Friends are getting married, friends are having kids, making gardens, and saving for their 401K plans. And somehow none of this appeals to me. I still have the feeling that I just broke free from the graduate student jail I was just in. All I want to do is live in the next land and soak up the experience of it all.

I keep thinking of my move to Germany and what an amazing time and adventure it has all been. I wouldnt trade it for a fat paycheck anywhere in the US. The countries and culture I have seen, the people I have met have put a mirror to my face and shown me how ignorant I am. Not always pleasant, but so interesting to see.

I dont know if I will be moving back to the US after this year or not. Certainly it would be great to see the family and friends more often, and the plus side of actually speaking the language is always appealing, but it seems so boring from every other point of view. I used to think a big cultural shock would be moving from Minneapolis to California, but here I am now contemplating a move to China, even though I would probably be paid on their local pay scale, which is about a fourth of what I would be paid in America or Europe. And Mandarin is no easy language to learn. I hear this from the Germans here, who have lots of experience learning languages, since they all seem to know three languages at the least.

OK, anyway, I have wrote myself tired, which was kind of the point. Good night and when I have more definite plans for my future, I will let you know.

How Berlin broke my heart.

Berlin. It has it all. Quick love, slow love, romantic and passionate, and inevitably, broken love. Berlin was my lover for the past three days. She showed me everything I was missing, fed me everything that I was wanting. With the passion freed and the heart awoken, I opened the unknown doors without knowing what was behind them; ardor or anguish? In the end, she gave me everything I deserved.

During the day she dazzled me with all her city sweets, strolled me along the walls of deep history and long lost moments. As the sun sets on her sexy streets, the wild sensual side awoke with a trembling of anticipation and pleasure. The evening gets as dark as the Ramazotti Schnapps she drinks and the mood as open.

The dancing starts with the music pumping and beats beating. You and her no longer move to the music, but the music moves you both, closer and closer, to unknown risks and wished rewards. The night turns to morning with eyes closed and the legs running. From the last slow salsa to the soft sheets of sleeping is but a blur of moments and minutes.

Then the morning comes with harsh glare of the angry sun. The hangover hits you with the reality of the empty bed, unkept promises, and the slow painful recognition of broken love as the train tears your you away from the breast of Berlin and back into the dull normalcy from which you began. With one last thought, riding on equal parts of ache and afterglow, I think to myself,

Berlin, Ich werde Sie nie vergessen!

The Fountain of Youth--FOUND!

The other day, I made a poor decision (one of many) and decided to take a short cut through the woods to find another way to the university. I was on my street bike, which wasn't working so well in the rocky and woody trails of the Marburg Forest. I was about an hour into the forest when I found myself tired, wet from the drizzle and mud, and VERY thirsty. I hadn't taken any water with me, since I thought this would be only a 20 minute 'shortcut'.

Frustrated with my bad judgement, I was just wishing that if I had a little water, life would be a lot easier at the moment. About 5 minutes later I walk into Viola's Ruh (Ruh translated as rest), as seen in the picture. Imagine my surprise at the sudden wish coming true. The water tasted cold and crystal clear, and found myself wondering, how is this in the middle of the forest, on a trail that is hardly ever used.

My colleague tells me that Ruh does translate into rest, but the meaning is more, like Rest in Peace. Viola's Ruh just might be a grave sight in the middle of the forest, that now has a natural spring for lost travelers like me. Interesting huh? The adventures of Mo continue.

Sand, beaches, and crazy bitches.

There is always something depressing about the end of July for me. Summer is almost over, the year is half gone, and I look back and wonder where its going. I've been to the beach once this year despite a plethora of warm sunny days here in Marburg. Can you feel the sands of time slipping through your fingers, grain by grain? Hmmmmm........

The beach in Marburg is on a private lake and is quite different than any beach I have ever been on. You pay about 5 bucks for admission and then once inside you have a couple of options. Swim, jump on the water trampoline, or go water skiing or wakeboarding. I just swam and jumped on the trampoline with all the other 12 year kids, trying to do flips without landing on my head. When I was 14, I was quite good at flips, front and back, but things have sadly changed.

The other option is water skiing, which is funny when you consider they dont have any boats on the lake. They have a giant cable system that pulls you in circles. It costs about 20 bucks an hour and you have to do training before you can try, which costs about another 50 bucks. I kinda laughed at the whole ridiculous situation of people paying to get pulled in circles. While in the lake I tried climbing the floating rubber rock climbing toy. It is in the shape of a pyrimad and about 12 feet high. While trying to climb to the top, I slipped and starting toppling down. Unfortunetly, there was about four kids underneath me and well, gravity, inertia, and a 30 old man took them all down to. They were surprisingly happy about the situation and I was really relieved to see none of them crying. They said something in German at me and then went back to climbing. Sometimes its good not to understand.

Some strange observations for me in Marburg lately. I seen a homeless lady wearing a Vikings Football shirt. I thought there was some justice in that, but I dont know how. Last Friday, some friends and I went to a club. The music was absolutely terrible as they were only playing 50`s and 60`s rock. I wondered what wormhole I just went into. But it was too late, I already paid my 3 euros so I just had to make the best of it. I tried to meet this girl who was looking lonely at the bar, but she had some strange german accent that I couldnt understand, so when a friend came over, I introduced them, and went off dancing. It looked like they had a good conversation going to. About 20 minutes later he comes up with a scared look on his face and I asked him how it went. This was what he had to say:

Her name is Isabelle and she likes Tequila. So far so good. She just got out of the psychiatric hospital after a five year extended stay. She now lives in a half way house, where she is allowed to go out once a week. One of the reasons she was there (in the hospital), was she decided to jump off a 5 story parking garage. Somehow she lived to tell the tale, and proceeded to show the stomach scars to my horrified friend. He mentioned her stomach looked like healed hamburger. I asked my friend if he got her telephone number---she seems like quite the catch. She was quite pretty actually, but I have a feeling thats kinda how her problems all started. So to my lady friends, should you ever need a good story for a persistent guy, this tale is sure to work.

I think I will be coming back to America in October, but only for a seminar in Boston. I hope to setup some job interviews while there too. I'm getting a little nervous about not having a job in six months. It will be my first time in Cambridge though. The conference is on the Harvard campus, so I will have to see if I can find me a Trust Fund girl who really likes her for who she really is. Uh huh. Thats all for now--Ill write more, when I have more.

Comments on comments--A thank you to my readers

Dear Readers,

One of the things that truly warms my heart on the cold lonely nights here in Marburg is your comments to my blog. It lets me know that someone is reading this crazy mess I electronically publish, and that really keeps me writing, even if it is rather hapharzard and random posts throught the weeks. To thank your for your kind readership, I would like to respond to every post I have in the last six months. Its not much, I know, but the comments are really great and I should have done this much earlier.



Anonymous said...

Good luck my fearless friend... good luck.
June 12, 2008 7:49 AM

Thank you, after all the violin practice, I still needed some luck. During the performance, I did miss some notes, but the instructor always says play on, play on. Most of the audience is too dumb to know the difference. His words not mine. Buts its a good rule for life anyway.


Anonymous said...

how'd it go!?
-michelle
June 18, 2008 4:29 PM


It went great! I probably wow anyone besides myself, but I got through it and remembered the whole song. For such a person trained as a scientist, this is like seeing you in a short skirt. It just doesnt get any better.


Anonymous said...

Terry,

why do you seem so sad? Life is not about money or how many ppl love you or even like you. Life is simply about being happy with you and the decisions you make, if your not happy about that, change it till you are. I am not rich, I do not have a ton of friends, but I am more happy than I could ever imagine. I want you to be happy too. You are a great man who needs to see what is worth seeing right in front of you. Good luck my old friend..brilliant minds are often tortured minds. peace be in your heart.

June 18, 2008 9:44 PM

Believe it or not, I am actually a very content person. Not always giggles, but I always have a little fun everyday not matter the situation. I realize most of my interaction with some of you is only with my blog, and the last few posts have been rather downers. Not to worry! Sometimes the blog is a sounding board I can lift my troubled thoughts off of me, and put it in the electronic ether, where it will no longer bother me. So please, dont let it bother you either. Im a survivor, and nothing keeps me down long. Thank you for the uplifting thoughts though. That was very kind of you.

A few thoughts:

A wise man once explained the "W Curve" concept to me. Think about it.

They "want" X number of published journals to consider you for a given position. Wantin' ain't gettin'. Apply anyway.

Saw this on Yahoo today on a list of "10 Hot Jobs That Start at $50K+." You could say, "Screw it," and do this:
9. Pharmaceutical Sales Representative. You don't have to be a physician or even science major to make big bucks in medicine. Just about anyone with a college degree and a killer personality can be trained in pharmaceutical sales. These professionals make sales calls to doctors' offices hoping to convince the doctors to prescribe the latest drugs made by the pharmaceutical company they represent. Seasoned pros can make six-figure salaries in this field.
Typical Starting Salary: $51,104

June 11, 2008 6:25 PM


I loved the line 'wantin aint gettin'. I think I might of heard those lines a few times when I was growing up. One thing that is always a waiting for me is a sales jobs for a PhD. Its strange, but the career articles I always read about with Phd`s as salesman, these people always love their jobs and make large amounts of money. These people sell high end scientific equiptment that most laymen would have a hard time learning. As for the Pharm Reps, no one can compete with these 23 year old blond buxom girls no matter how good your pitch is. I wouldnt even try.

Anonymous said...

Terry was too educated and above this BS job about 6 years ago... no way, no how.... besides the fact that most of these drug reps are finding it harder to get into clinics etc because the industry is finally cleaning up a bit of the unethical BS.

June 12, 2008 7:45 AM


Make no mistake, I dont think I am above any job. My last year of grad school was working as a valet and I never had more fun with so many different people. The paradox of the educated scientist is that he knows more and more about less and less. In that, the typical scientist has to pick a niche that gets narrower and narrower, until he is an expert in that niche. Its like pulling a hair from your head, studying everything about it for 6 years, and proclaiming you are and expert on that one piece of hair. And everyong agrees, cause who would be silly enough to study one piece of hair for six years? Propecial and Minoxinol scientists.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I know it's a BS job. Yeah, I know Terry's way above it. My point was that there are options to be explored out there.

And I knew that particular suggestion would piss him off... and remind him why he's working so hard.

June 12, 2008 4:11 PM

Nothing gets anyone motivated like anger. Sometimes I need a reminding, and sometimes I need a knock on the head, or a nice cold beer. Sometimes all three at once.

Anonymous said...

all that training and still can`t get anywhere. the Professors got there why can`t they understand that a person tries his or her best to get ahead. surely they to had done what ur doing give someone a break....why always be an a.. give someone that had worked so hard to get there a break..they will thank them later and appreciate them later.

May 26, 2008 5:15 PM


Like all professions and crafts, the professorship is a competitive field too. The crazy thing is, we always hear that we need more science training, but their is a plethora of phds out there, and entry rate BS and BA degrees get paid very little. Its kinda funny and a little sad, but I have to usually respond to the industry ads that say ''Entry position PHD needed. No experience necessary.'' That fills me with gall.

Anonymous said,

Hey Terry,

I feel for ya man. Sell out- go industry but beware. Any and all of our future get togethers will be dominated by my banter discrediting the big bad industry for its selfish price jacking of (off) poor elderly folks... often adding a simple OTC to a soon-to-be brand coming off patent (see Trexima- those GSK bastards) just to make investors happy and supply the CEOs with 10s of millions in bonuses.

May 28, 2008 5:50 AM


When I read this post, there are so many responses that could be said of the Dr. mentality (the author of this post is trained in pharmacy and has a MD). Where would I start? More importantly where would it end? So I will keep it to this: When is the last time you heard of any Dr give a heart surgury pro bono (free) or a reduced price? Or any life saving profession. Besides who do you think those investors are? Its the old people.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Terry,

I read your column... often anxiously awaiting the next installment. Often, I make very insightful comments but I never hear back... Do you even read these brilliant comments?

June 2, 2008 4:01 AM


The posts are admittely very brilliant, but for reasons unknown, I no longer get email notifications of them. I think they are being filtered out as spam or something. So if your comment bears a response because of the thought provoking madness/silliness/angriness you have put in it, please let me know by email. I will guarantee you a response in less than 1 year.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't take the pills to sleep!!! it's not good for your health.

Life is beautiful and your life is really good, you just always take it too seriously :-)...relax... I'm very happy now here, even if the work is quite boring hehe. I think I've made a good decision to persue my PhD. I'm going to New York next year to work. I wish my professor won't change my mind because so far, I didn't have lots of work done hehe [ but I got top scores in almost every facebook game I played :-) ]

Please don't be too worried about things. we don't need lots of money,work, fame to be happy right?. Happiness depends only on you, on the way you think. I have a very good story to tell you, but wait till the next time we talk. it's quite long and quite hard to translate.

I wish you can stop that sleeping pills soon... I really wanna see you happy ... good luck with everything :-)

June 8, 2008 1:05

Sleeping pills are sometimes a necessary evil. But I take the all natural ones which are so weak, they rarely work. Quite the irony, really. I think of happiness as the experiences you make for yourself. But you never want to be to happy either. Social studies show that the chronically happy people are actually quite lazy and are not very productive sorts. Its the people with the small monkey on their back, with something to prove, that strive the hardest.


Anonymous said...

AMIt was great seeing you agian.. next time maybe the troup will make it to the bar.. HEHE! So meeting with sibling?
Later

May 13, 2008 7:05 PM

Meeting new siblings is a strange up and down experience. Never quite what you expected. Stories better said in person.


Damn it Terry, I hate that I didn't catch you before you left...if the reason you're not coming back to minnesota is because you think there's no one here who'll whip you while yelling in russian... you're wrong.

February 3, 2008 10:16 AM

Anger, whips, and yelling. I think you know how to turn a man on (well at least, this man). Have you done this before?


Blogger Teeny said...

LOL

February 4, 2008 3:20 AM


The above post was pretty damn funny. I laughed out loud when I read it too. Who has that creativity?

Anonymous said...

Come on, we've been looking at that picture of you with the Russian dwarf all month. And the expression on your face says you're pretty sure you're about to get whacked with the bow again any second - not a good look on you. New news - have you got any?

February 23, 2008 11:23 PM

Nothing much really. I just turned into a transvestite, wearing polka dot T-shirts and I dont shave my legs. GWB 43 said he likes the look. Pretty normal.

Anonymous said...

Hi Terry,
I tried to get ahold of you by e-mail but was unsuccessful. I also tried your old cell phone number. I heard you were in town. Jeanna and I are planning to get together on Friday and were wondering if you would like to have lunch and/or dinner. I missed out on your last visit and would be honored and excited to see you this time. Let me know? Excited to hear about all you've been doing.
Love, S

May 7, 2008 5:42 AM


Hey, things are changing huh? I tried to email you to, but I had forgot that you changed emails. But it looks like I might be in town sooner rather than later with some upcoming interviews. I will let you know.

Anonymous said...

Hey Terry. This is Denise. I just thought I would say hi. It's been a long time. I run into your brother on occasion. The first words out of his mouth are, "Have you sent my brother an email yet?" Out of fear that he may maim me the next time we cross paths, I thought it best to send you a message!!! So how have you been? You're certainly looking good!!! You will have to let me know when you are back in the US. I'll buy you a beer!!! Take care.

January 14, 2008 8:15 AM

Hey! Its amazing how we keep running into each other since high school. But I like it. Be so kind to leave an email? and then I can talk to you without the whole world knowing. I really like the fact that my brother is threatening the girls to keep talking to me. All I have to say is, Brother, keep up the good work.


Anonymous said...

would be nice to see u again son. each day is likes years

January 15, 2008 7:44 PM

I saved the best for last. Thanks dad. I love you too.

how to write a cover letter, with sincerity and depth

Dear Blog,

I have officially begun the process of begging for a job. This is how it usually goes. It starts with a cover letter--and the cover letter must sell---YOU! For example:

Dear godly hiring manager,

I will be attempting to bend over backwards and kiss my own arse in the next four paragraphs to prove I am perfect for the job that 25 other people will also be debasing themselves. In fact, I am in love your sexy startup of a company. In fact, if you pay me enough I might love you. My qualifications are:

1) Rowdy, partying, job avoiding student for 12 years
2) Can do the air guitar, with a full tilt foot twist, even at 30
3) Trouble with clothes, when drinking fermented barley juice
4) Can do the moon walk, forwards and backwards.

In fact, I know I cant even send this letter to your HR people, cause they will surely eat if for dinner, since your company pays them so little. My resume will unfortunetly give them some bad gas from all of the overdone accomplishments. What I will do is hound everyone I know, until I can find where you are hiding. Then, because your are the classic hiring manager, you will be very impressed I found you, as all the rest of the applicants are making the HR people fat, and you have yet to glance at one resume that gets sent there. Good thing I was networking and slept with your daughter years ago.

And now to the final paragraph where I will plant one last kiss anywhere I can get it on you....,mmmmmmmMMMMMMuh! Cant wait to you see you for the interview. Then you will really see my excellent communication skills in action.

Sincerely,

Sapienti Sat


PS. I hope google doesnt find this post for lazy cover letter writers.

2008...half full or half empty.

So the year is half over. After July, I always thought the rest of the months just tumble right through your hands. So, a little personal analysis. What have I done in the first part of 2008? Let see if I can answer this question in reverse chronological order.

Most recently I did my violin solo. It went well, except for the video recording of it. Somehow the wrong buttons were pressed and the violin wasn't turned on, so no golden memories were recorded. It was to your benefit. The instructor though wants to take the violin troop all around Germany to play. If I wasnt the only one in there that knows how to button, velcro, and tie shoes, I might say yes.

I bought tons of self help books from Amazon and spent a small fortune. Out of the five I bought, I only read one cover to cover and that was "How to win friends and influence people". My blog voyeurs, read this book! Cant afford it? I will send you mine, just send me an address. "What color is your parachute" is a good self-esteem boost too. As for the rest of the books, they seemed mostly garbage and barely readable.

I started reading Terry Pratchet books too--about 20 years behind everyone else I guess. Sci fi books filled sarcasm and laughs. Not bad really. Still, the funniest book anywhere is Catch-22.

I went to Chicago and so my old friends from graduate school. What a refreshing cool time that was. Great wedding, old laughs with people who get you (and can understand your language), and I met some pretty cool new people too. Some of them are still hounding me for photos--which I have to get busy on.

Meeting new family is always interesting, awkward, and then interesting again. Who knew?

A trip to the Barcelona for a World Meeting in Biochemistry. The better the city, the worst the meeting is my new understanding. Barcelona was a beautiful city. I got to see some Gouda Architecture, and even see a golothic church being built in his style. It is supposed to be done in 2050. No kidding. Its been continually worked on for the past 40 years (or more). Unfortunetly one of my friends got her purse stolen while we were there. Ladies, dont put your purses on your chair when you go out to eat. The highlight of the trip was the dinner at the La Chateau Sparkling wine cellar. Imagine a a wine cellar 30 feet across, and a half mile long. Pretty amazing sight for this ol' country boy.

Saarbrucken was even more amazing. Two weeks with grad students, post docs, and professors from Australia to Finland and every country in between. The highlight was when 40 or 50 of us took over an Irish bar and we had the great idea of everyone should sing something from there country and I heard great voices and some amazing songs. I was very surprised. When it came my turn and I had enough liquid courage, I sang "The day the music died". About the only song I think I know by heart. I also explained the tribute behind the song, the day Buddy Holly, Jiles Richardson and Ritchie Valens were all killed a plane crash. Thankfully, everyone sang along with me.


So thats my six months of 2008. In the next six months, I hope to meet some more new relatives (German ones), my old exchange student, Marco, and then some more travelling to places near and far. St Petersburg, Russia sounds....cold. We`ll see. And of course, I will keep you updated.

My 4th of July Invitation

Dear Friends,

Once upon a time in the middle 1700's a group of colonist farmers and
shopowners were really angry at paying high taxes to England, much in the
same way Englanders are angry today. These early Americans screamed "No
Taxation without representation!" and then gave England the middle finger
aka "the bird".

King George III was not used to "the bird" so he decided to send lots of
soldiers to talk some sense to the new Americans. Interestingly, France also
liked giving King George "the bird", so they decided to send lots of guns
and soldiers to help out the new Americans. While this benefited the new
Americans greatly, it unfortunately was a small contribution of some
headaches for the French Aristocracy, or as we know it, the French
Revolution.

Holland and Spain soon sided with the new Americans too, but not the
Germans. Brunswicker and Hessian Princes decided to aid England and over
12000 Germans sailed to fight for the English. Not long after, the war of
Bavarian Succession erupted.

What is the lesson here? It does not matter whether you are for or against
the Americans, just being involved means you will probably lose. A lesson
that still stands in today's American Wars.

With that great bit of theatrical history, I invite you to my Independence
day party. It starts after work on Friday, July 4th, or around 4 or 5:00 or
just whenever you get there.

My Solo Debut

Exactly one week from today I will be making my solo debut for the first time with me and the trusty, slight off tune, violin. I'm not so sure my neighbors are so thrilled or scared as I am. In fact every time I start playing the violin in my apartment, I suddenly hear the upstairs and downstairs neighbors start closing their windows with a bit of overdone foot stomping. I think I would be the same way, as I have been playing the same two songs for a month straight with only a slight improvement from day to day.

In the concert I am part of, I will be playing two songs. A Minuett by Joseph Bodin de Boismortier. Haven`t heard of him? Yeah, me either. This is my solo song though, to be played entirely by myself in front all the rest of the parents. I`ll explain the parents in a second. The second song is dance of some sort, in German known as Mückentanz, or the Mosquito dance.

Last Saturday I showed up at the one and only rehearsal where all the violin players play together to make sure we know the Mückentanz very well. I was a little surprised by the turn out. I mean I knew some of the violin players were kids, but I didnt know all of them would be kids. There is about four 5-year old kids, a couple of ten year olds, and then two teenagers about 14 or 15. I knew I would be the oldest, but I didnt think it would be by 15 years. So the practice was a humbling experience.

Despite being the oldest, I certainly wasn't anywhere near being the best. In fact, once during the practice, the instructor stopped in the middle of our group song and asked who was playing so badly out of tune. One of the 10-year olds had no embarrassment about pointing straight at me. The instructor even looked a little shocked at such boldness. It made me laugh outloud actually, with the old feelings of awkwardness--just like grade school had come back to me for 10 seconds. The little brat.

So next Wednesday I will take the solo stand in front of a confused set of parents, wondering why this grown man is in the beginner group with all the young kids. When the time comes--a few seconds before the song begins and all my nervousness is climaxing like the moment before a head on collision, I will be wondering what I am doing there too. But at least my neighbors will be glad. I finally be finished with those two songs for awhile. The time is right to start working on those xmas songs.

Parachutes, Networking, and Organizing.

I'm going through a bit of a self-improvement stage right now--or maybe I am just trying to catch up where all the rest of my peers are--I dont know.

When I was in college-a decade ago-I thought 30 would be a time of family, kids, steady job, and softball in the summers. I never thought it would be small apartments, long work days, and bills that never get caught up. Im not complaining, its just surprising about what you expect to happen, and then seeing the reality never quite compare.

So as said before, I am in the process of self-improvement. I went on Amazon and bought every book I think my life could be somehow improved on. Notice I didnt ask others on what books might improve me--I dont think I have that much money. A couple are downright classics we should have glanced at at one time or another. These Dale Carnegie classics are:

How to win friends and influence people.

The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking.

The first one is a must read for just about anyone. In a way, he just us all on how we can just get along with each other without arguing all the time. Also an easy and entertaining read that explains all his points through personal stories and anecdotes. I read some of it on the airplane the last time I went home.

The next is to somehow keep people from sleeping during my seminars. What makes a great seminar? Usually its funny, excited, or just disasterous talks. I would like to be one of the first two. Hence the second book listed. The last time I gave a talk, I seen quite a few yawns in my audience of 20. Scientific talks are always difficult to give anyway--trying to condense 2 years of study into 1 hr of info, is tough enough, but to try and make in entertaining is a real skill not many of us scientists really have.

I have been reading alot of carreer advice specifically for scientists. The guy who writes the articles is a headhunter strictly for scientists, so he has a lot of insight on what companies want out of their employees. The article name is called Tooling Up. Mr Headhunter says I should be networking like mad. So I bought the book:

How to Work a Room, by Susanne Roane.

It tells all on how to become a Mingling Maven (whatever that is). But I have to learn to be it if I want to ferret out all the good jobs, since it seems most of them are posted secretly, or under rocks where only few people look. It seems if for some jobs, that if you find that it exists, then your halfway to getting hired. I guess the employers hate having to look at 1000 resumes. But Im sure the Mingling Maven's strategy is better than mine, since mine is usually having one too many bottles of wine and then trying to get the whole place to dance. Maybe I should write a book on how to thoroughly embarrass yourself in front of everyone. It would be a best seller.

Next book, also on job finding, is one thats been around quite awhile:

What color is your PARACHUTE? by R.N Bolles.

It is a book of 300+ pages on how to find the perfect job or switch careers. These guys have a great strategy in the publishing business. Find one bestseller and republish it every year with a new prologue and therefore new edition. But I bit and bought the more expensive 2008 version anyway. I actually remember skimming this book when I was 16, bored and nothing to read. At sixteen I had a Deli job that gave me 200 bucks every two weeks and never seemed to worry about money. So if it was a good read when I was 16, maybe it will have aged and gotten better when I really need it.

The last and final self-help book is supposed to organize my life in Tip-Top fashion. I would say these kind of books are for suckers, in which I am now a hypocrite. But it was only six dollars, and I can justify this extravagant purchase by saying I've spent my fast food money for the week, no Turkish Döner for me. This actually makes me healthier and saves me from the '2-burn' chili peppers they have inside them. Ooh, Im gonna miss the spice though. The self help book is called:

Getting Things (checkmark) DONE. by D. Allen.

I wonder how long they had to discuss the book title. I wonder how many times the alternate title Git'ur dun! came up. Probably the wrong demographic for such a book. It has lots and lots of quotes inside the book like:

Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. --Henry Bergson.

Very deep, but after careful contemplation, I still have no idea the hell he is trying to say. So far thats my self improvement plan. I cant wait for the day when we can just insert the chip into our memory card brain, and all the neurons are rewired overnight, for a new, more productive, and more boring you.

I'm full of excitement too. Thats why I spent some of my grocery money on good books too. Mainly the Terry Pratchet Discworld fantasy fiction books. Riding on dragons has always sounded more interesting than organizing my inbox.

So this is 30. Not the rock and roll club I had expected, but its better than 3rd world poverty. Actually I have it pretty good, but I really wondered what day it was that I worried more about how my employers viewed me, then where I viewed myself. And that brings up forty. I should write a list of what I should have done/be doing when I am forty. Then I will laugh and realize what an idiot I am when Im forty and living on the california beach, homeless, penniless, and warm, with all the self help books in the fire.

the hum drum phd

Without a doubt, one of the proudest moments of my life was an early December morning in 2006. I stood in front of my peers and professors for three hours and defended my graduate work I had been working on for the previous five years. At the end of the three hours, four professors convened, discussed, and agreed that I indeed, earned my doctorate. One step was done on my penultimate goal-Research Professor.

The path to an acadamic or professor these days seems to be getting more ludicrous every year, despite the fact that higher education is the one industry that seems to be recession proof. The path starts with 4 years of college, 4-6 years of grad school, and 2-4 years of post-doc experience. That 10-14 years of training is just a tip of the iceberg. A recent post-doc in my lab was searching for an assistant professor position, and one of the things they (hiring commitees) was looking for was 10+ published journals. I might as well shoot myself in the head now--I dont have anywhere near that number. And for what? Assistant professor positions start at pay around 50-60K, around the price of a chemical engineering student with a BS degree.

Once you have the covetted professor position, you better work your ass off for five years, or no tenure, and your out of a job. A recent Nature article showed that despite a rise in biologist positions, tenure had remained static for the last 16 years! And getting funding from the NIH is harder than robbing a bank. For young investigators (not tenured) only 6% of the R01 grants were awarded to them. In fact, the average age of an awarded R01 grant currently is 42. In 1970 it was 34. For those that dont know, the NIH RO1 grant is about the only method you can consistently fund a laboratory.

So in a nutshell, train for 12 years, work 80 hrs per week so you can publish like crazy, take a job that gives you half the pay as your industry brothers, spend all your measly pay on college loans, apply for a grant that you have a 1 in 20 chance of getting, fund said laboratory with grad students, post-docs so you have a good chance of getting fired in 5 years because the old pusses around you can say you didnt try hard enough.

So as I left the hallowed halls of my grad school back in December of 2006, my vision was clear and the future confident. But, life happens. Doing a post-doc, one starts to look at other options beside academia with a curious eye. Perhaps the FDA is for me, or biotech, or industry, or tree farming. Yeah, tree farming. I think I would like quarterly meetings with only me and the trees.

Im off to bed now, Im taking two of my favorite bedtime pills--trade name 'Fukitol'.

Me, the harem, and the big bowl. 'Nuf said.

Its been awhile since I posted. I've been a little busy.

Here a fast three months of catch up:

A two week cell course in Saarbrueken, Germany.
(more like a two week grad student party)
One scientific journal article written and submitted.
A one week seminar in Barcelona, Spain.
A wedding in Chicago. Congrats Brian and Aimee.
A presentation in Chicago. My boss seemed to like it--at least he didnt fall asleep.
Meetings with many siblings I haven't met in 20+ years. An experience in itself.
Beers with old friends in Minneapolis.
A bonfire with family in Shafer, MN.

Its been a fast couple of months. Ill see if I can recount some stories later on.

The music that moves you.

Above is me and the crazy russian music instructor. He yells lots of advice to me in russian- accented german that I have no chance of understanding. Once in a while he whacks me with the bow and keeps yelling Tief! Zu Tief!

I find myself here, late at work, doing some strange things. I went from watching family guy to listening to Conway Twitty--a lot of Conway Twitty. I have no excuse, and might even be slightly embarrassed, but i post the youtube videos so, you too, can wonder how you ended up listening to the CT for 30 minutes.

Here are my favorites:

Joni Dont Cry

I'd Love To Lay You Down

New Year´s celebration

Seven goofy people, one fun trip.

No such thing as 'safe ice' here.

This New Years was quite the experience.

I was invited to go to a cabin deep in the Schwarzwald (Germany´s famous black forest) for Silvesters Tag (aka New Years day). The cabin was located on a hill in a tiny village called Schonbrann. The road into the village is one I am not likely to forget as it was wide as a half a car and steep as a mountain cliff. I thought we were going over the edge at any moment.

The plan was a quite simple one. For the three days that we were there, we hiked for four hours a day, came back, relaxed, played games, ate, and drank beer. I really liked the hiking, but I have to admit, without my german guides, I would have been lost a kilometer into the forest. There was trails in every direction, some marked, some were dead ends. We had to traverse half frozen rivers, and slippery water-slicked rocks that some of the trails were made of. We made our way into a foggy valley, and somehow we found ourselves out again. I seen one deer, but not much more wildlife than that.

I thought I would be smart and take my waterproof US Army grade boots, and ended up with blisters all over my feet. Next time I try to break them in a little. The rest of the time I walked around in my street shoes, which were about as waterproof as a screen door. Oh well.

The midnight countdown had a little twist than what I am used to. I was with three couples, so finding a random person to make out with at midnight wasnt going to happen this year. Instead, around midnight, it seems all of Germany goes outside to light fireworks off. It is the only day of the year they are legal. So it seems everyone goes crazy and upon looking up, one sees quite the light show wherever you look. I even let off some bottle rockets and a Roman candle.

So my traveling has been a bit limited lately with not too many stories to tell. But the future holds hope. In February, I goto a 10-day workshop on nanoparticles in Saarbrucken, Germany. It is a city very close to the French and Luxembourg border, so I will try to make visits to Metz, France, and of course the huge county of Luxembourg. I wonder what language they speak in Luxembourg? I bet its not Spanish.

In March I have tentative plans to visit Paris. I'll see if I can get a travel partner to go with me. April should be a busy month. I have a week long scientific meeting in Barcelona and maybe a trip back to the good ol' USA. I wonder how I shall get any work done this year?

My crystall ball.

Just look into the ball....
and see the strangest one of all.