Parachutes, Networking, and Organizing.

I'm going through a bit of a self-improvement stage right now--or maybe I am just trying to catch up where all the rest of my peers are--I dont know.

When I was in college-a decade ago-I thought 30 would be a time of family, kids, steady job, and softball in the summers. I never thought it would be small apartments, long work days, and bills that never get caught up. Im not complaining, its just surprising about what you expect to happen, and then seeing the reality never quite compare.

So as said before, I am in the process of self-improvement. I went on Amazon and bought every book I think my life could be somehow improved on. Notice I didnt ask others on what books might improve me--I dont think I have that much money. A couple are downright classics we should have glanced at at one time or another. These Dale Carnegie classics are:

How to win friends and influence people.

The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking.

The first one is a must read for just about anyone. In a way, he just us all on how we can just get along with each other without arguing all the time. Also an easy and entertaining read that explains all his points through personal stories and anecdotes. I read some of it on the airplane the last time I went home.

The next is to somehow keep people from sleeping during my seminars. What makes a great seminar? Usually its funny, excited, or just disasterous talks. I would like to be one of the first two. Hence the second book listed. The last time I gave a talk, I seen quite a few yawns in my audience of 20. Scientific talks are always difficult to give anyway--trying to condense 2 years of study into 1 hr of info, is tough enough, but to try and make in entertaining is a real skill not many of us scientists really have.

I have been reading alot of carreer advice specifically for scientists. The guy who writes the articles is a headhunter strictly for scientists, so he has a lot of insight on what companies want out of their employees. The article name is called Tooling Up. Mr Headhunter says I should be networking like mad. So I bought the book:

How to Work a Room, by Susanne Roane.

It tells all on how to become a Mingling Maven (whatever that is). But I have to learn to be it if I want to ferret out all the good jobs, since it seems most of them are posted secretly, or under rocks where only few people look. It seems if for some jobs, that if you find that it exists, then your halfway to getting hired. I guess the employers hate having to look at 1000 resumes. But Im sure the Mingling Maven's strategy is better than mine, since mine is usually having one too many bottles of wine and then trying to get the whole place to dance. Maybe I should write a book on how to thoroughly embarrass yourself in front of everyone. It would be a best seller.

Next book, also on job finding, is one thats been around quite awhile:

What color is your PARACHUTE? by R.N Bolles.

It is a book of 300+ pages on how to find the perfect job or switch careers. These guys have a great strategy in the publishing business. Find one bestseller and republish it every year with a new prologue and therefore new edition. But I bit and bought the more expensive 2008 version anyway. I actually remember skimming this book when I was 16, bored and nothing to read. At sixteen I had a Deli job that gave me 200 bucks every two weeks and never seemed to worry about money. So if it was a good read when I was 16, maybe it will have aged and gotten better when I really need it.

The last and final self-help book is supposed to organize my life in Tip-Top fashion. I would say these kind of books are for suckers, in which I am now a hypocrite. But it was only six dollars, and I can justify this extravagant purchase by saying I've spent my fast food money for the week, no Turkish Döner for me. This actually makes me healthier and saves me from the '2-burn' chili peppers they have inside them. Ooh, Im gonna miss the spice though. The self help book is called:

Getting Things (checkmark) DONE. by D. Allen.

I wonder how long they had to discuss the book title. I wonder how many times the alternate title Git'ur dun! came up. Probably the wrong demographic for such a book. It has lots and lots of quotes inside the book like:

Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. --Henry Bergson.

Very deep, but after careful contemplation, I still have no idea the hell he is trying to say. So far thats my self improvement plan. I cant wait for the day when we can just insert the chip into our memory card brain, and all the neurons are rewired overnight, for a new, more productive, and more boring you.

I'm full of excitement too. Thats why I spent some of my grocery money on good books too. Mainly the Terry Pratchet Discworld fantasy fiction books. Riding on dragons has always sounded more interesting than organizing my inbox.

So this is 30. Not the rock and roll club I had expected, but its better than 3rd world poverty. Actually I have it pretty good, but I really wondered what day it was that I worried more about how my employers viewed me, then where I viewed myself. And that brings up forty. I should write a list of what I should have done/be doing when I am forty. Then I will laugh and realize what an idiot I am when Im forty and living on the california beach, homeless, penniless, and warm, with all the self help books in the fire.