Jack London says it best......

I would rather be ashes than dust--I would rather my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze--Than it should be stifled in dry rot.I would rather be a superb meteor,Every atom of me in magnificent glow,Than a sleepy and permanent planet.Man's chief purpose is to live, not to exist:I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.I shall use my time......

Jack London

Palua Ubin bicycle adventure.

Here is another goofy video of me and my exploits. Trouble viewing? Download here.

Some Tasty Noodles

With the recent addition of my amazing new cam phone, I took some fun videos for you. Here is the first of many

Guan Yin and duck necks.

Guan Yin, the buddhist God of Mercy, is having a celebration today. It included several dances with all the men painted up and looking quite feminine. I think this has to do with Guan Yin being represented as both female and male, depending on his/her mood. Other festivities included lighting giant candles and incense sticks. I don't think the God was pleased however, as it started to thunderstorm an hour later.

The vendor above sells nothing but fried duck necks. This could be a new fast food sensation. Sorry, but I just wasn't hungry. You wouldn't believe how long of a line this guy had. How much meat can there be on a duck neck?

Happy Endings in the People's Park

Its a leisurely Sunday afternoon in Chinatown. This means the weather is hot, humid, and creating layer after layer of sweat I can not get rid of. I need some air conditioned comfort and it is in the form of the People's Park. This is one of the largest malls and markets here, brimming with thousands of black haired Asians from Indonesia to China. It is a shopping Mecca of cheap electronics, impromptu salesman, travel agencies and a whole floor of massage parlors. I need a memory card for my fancy new phone and maybe some relaxation away from the blanket of humidity.

After getting soundly ripped off on my new 8 GB memory card the size of a finger nail, I decide to take a stroll around the mall. Travel agencies are a major business here and going in groups is the ideal for many Asians, as we have all seen in one Metro or another. The next floor is the massage parlour. You can get face peels, foot rubs, back rubs, whole body massage, hot rocks, manicures, pedicures, etc. Its all here. And cheap, VERY cheap.This the place to go for some cheap relaxation and it shows. The floor is crowded, but no one has to wait in lines as many recliners and beds are available. I look at the prices--for about 15 USD, you can get a 1 hr massage. I have never had a massage, and decide that now is the time, with the price SO right.

Choosing is difficult however--there are 10-20 shops, all cajoling you as you walk by, trying to get your business. Look interested, and the cajoling almost turns to haressing. I finally decide, and well, call me shallow, but I choose the shop with the prettiest looking masseuses (clue 1). I am afterall, a man. If your going to choose, choose pretty (turns out, this is bad advice). My masseuse is a soft spoken, slender asian beauty that looks like she is going to have to walk on me in order to get any type of deep tissue massage. Nothing wrong with that.

The experience starts with her taking your arm and leading you back to a darkly lit room filled with the smells of incense. I was expecting a massage table, but found a single mattress on the floor covered with towels (clue 2). Well, I figured its a budget operation and you get what you pay for. I am told to take off my clothes and lay down. I think this just might be a translation error, so I take off my shirt lay down and wait for her to come back. The bed smells like the one I had in college, when the sheets didnt get washed so often. Oh well.

My asian beauty comes back and tells me that my pants are still on and she cant give a massage this way. Really? Really. Lucky I have my white 'Dragon' mural boxers on, which I am quite comfortable in. Of course she sees them, starts to giggle and says, "Oooh! Sexy dragon man!" (clue 3). Embarressed, I lay down and the show begins.

While never having been to a professional massage before, I have had numerous massages given by a few amorous girlfriends. I think I know a good technique from a bad one. If a punching bag is your idea of a good massage, you might want to see this lady. I got a lot karate chops followed by linament lotion, followed by more karate chops. Well the place was cool, dark, somewhat relaxing, and a 40 kg girl cant do that much harm even if you can tell she has no idea what she is doing back there (clue 4), so I literally just roll with the punches.

About 15 minutes later, things get interesting. The karate chops get lower, and pretty soon, my innocent butt is soon getting worked over something crazy (clue 5). Here, not even the amorous girlfriends dared to touch (but should of!). Not bad.....I think I like it.... After five minutes, things get decidedly even more interesting.

My new (girl)friend tells me to roll over. Huh? O.......K.......(maybe she wants to rub my chest?) No. When I roll over to my back and she gives me a sweet, mischevious smile. Uh Oh. One of her hands starts on my chest slowly starts to go south (hhhmmm, wondering where thats going......) With her other hand, she grabs my hand and decides to rest both on her.....uh...sternum. Then she asks me one innocent question:

"You like massage me? 100 Dollar? Double Fun?", at which point she pointed to her mouth and another spot a wee south as well. I think somehow the lights went a bit dimmer as well.

I'm no idiot, I seen the clues, but somehow didnt really expect her to be so bold. I think froze there, for about 5 seconds, feeling the wild beating in my heart. Contemplating? Maybe, but with a shake of my head...the price dropped to 75......another shake of the head brought it down to 50. She thought we were negotiating, I was just trying to keep her above the waistline. After one final no, she got up, and said massage over. I felt a mixture of adrenalin and embarrassment...and wasnt sure why. I dressed and hurried out.

Later on, I told my friend Fernando about the experience, and he mentioned this is quite common for masseuses in the Philipines (plane ticket already booked)---except they have a little code word for it--they just ask you if you want a "Happy Ending".

My Malay friend told me I actually got out lucky. Sometimes if you refuse the girl, the door gets locked, and you have to 'pay' the 200 to get out. Raise a ruckus and they will tell the police you assaulted the girl and tried to rape her or some other embarrassing fable.

Never the less, I still had fun. And I am starting to feel the stress in my back already.....