Biking, Bribing, and Bartering in Bali

You've got to go to Bali. Do it for giant waves or the beach bathing or the endless motorcycle switchbacks or the volcano hikes or the hotsprings or the ... or the...or the many amazing possibilities to make it one of the best vacations you've ever had.

The girlfriend and I's first adventure on the island was making it to the sandy surfing beaches...to boldly go where every tourist in Bali goes...Kotu beach. If you have never ridden a wave, and need to learn, this is your first stop on the tourist train.

You have many options on how to learn to surf...most of them are overpriced surf clubs that charge you 50 bucks an hour so some guy can tell you how to stand on your oval oasis. The cheapest (and therefore the best in my opinion) was to hire one of the locals that rent the boards right off the beach. It takes a 10-15 min of haggling--which kind of works like this:

1) Ask how much.
2) Laugh at starting price and then divide by 10. Call them your friend.
3) Stage new offer--watch them laugh at you, and hear them agree you are good friends.
4) Double starting price and hold firm. Slap him on the shoulder and reassure him you are good friends. Tell them how old there equipment looks, but in a good way.
5) When they triple the starting price, sadly shake head and slowly walk away. Act hurt and forlorn, like the good friendship you had is about to end.
6) Gladly let your new friend walk you back after he agrees to your deal. Mentally prepare for the "You first customer I give so cheap" or "My kid no eat tonight".
7) Slap yourself on the back for only paying four times as much as the locals.

Final tally for lessons, two surfboards, and two hours of rental was 20 dollars (or 200,000 rupiahs, the money they use in Bali). Original asking price was 100. Pretty much every transaction in Bali is 10 min of my friend, my friend, my friend.

But I did get to learn to surf, and it is kinda of addicting, especially after you are able to stand and ride the entire wave completely to the shore. Of course on the beginner beach, the waves are pretty short at 4-5 feet, but thats enough! Any bigger and it gets a little scary, especially when you wipe out and the waves roll you like a twig.

Later is when you notice your pasty white skin has completely transformed you into a glowing red cherry color, that no amount of aloe vera is going to heal. That god for the anesthetic effects of beer.

The best part of Bali was the motorcycling throughout the whole island though. Motorcycles are dirt cheap to rent--with the small 125cc scooters starting out at 3 dollars a day. I upgraded to a Honda Tiger with a clutch, where a week rental costed me 25 dollars.

Driving a motorcycle in any part of Asia takes a lot of courage, but I soon found myself cutting traffic, driving through stoplights, and on the wrong side of the road, just like the locals. Once out of the cities, we drove up to the islands volcano, and then down twisty turny steep ridges to the hotspring pools in the volcanoes valley below. There we sat eating fresh peeled mangoes in the 110 deg F pool. I thought I would complete the picture by scrubbing myself with some of the volcano rocks laying everywhere. I imagined some rich socialite in New York paying 500 dollars an hour for the same treatment.

On the way to the volcano, we ran into some police doing 'registration checks'. This is where they stop you and ask you for your international license, of which no one has and the rental agency doesnt even ask you for (they only ask for one thing--the money). After Mr. Policeman tells you how illegal you are, how big the fine is going to be, and how bad this is going to be for YOUR vacation. He then says we can be friends. I agreed, we should be friends. 100,000 rupiahs later (10 USD) we really ARE friends and he is giving me directions and tips for the best places to go. Here, a 10 dollar bribe pays for a lot. I thank him, he thanks me, and we are both on our way and I've learned a new lesson. Laws are for dirty westerners.

And I am coming back to Bali just as soon as I can.