Quote, pretty, pretty, PLEASE?

Dear [Lazy American Medical Supplier company],

@SALES:

Perhaps business is booming, or my emails end up in the electronic trash bucket, or you guys have ALREADY hit the sales quota for the year. I don’t know. But I do know that after three emails and two phone calls, quotes for the many medical balloons I have asked for never end up in my Inbox. I even searched my Trash folder.

Have you ever tried to tell your Wushu Black Belt Boss that the reason you can’t order, is because the “American Supplier” won’t respond? My meeting is Thursday, and I don’t want to tell him a third time. Things could get ugly.

You see, he wants to order the medical balloons from China. They respond fast. Their English gets better every day. Please don’t make me order medical balloons from China. When my super-heart-disease-curing blockbuster medical balloon is approved in the next century, I’d like to keep you guys in business (and I’m sure to be the first in line to use it with all the coconut-cream laksa here).

@INFO:

SALES is busy. Could you respond to my many requests? I’ve attached your own brochure to so you can look up my specific request on Photo 18—just trying to make things easier for everyone. Fear not, the spelling error in the title is mine.

@HR:

Should SALES not get back to me, I might need a new job after Thursday. Anything open? I’m a great communicator and I’ve found where that REPLY button is. I’m creative, perseverant, and willing to travel. Any spicy frog leg porridge in Salem Massachusetts?

@Webmaster:

You had me in 3 clicks. With your scrolling banner of “World’s Thinnest, Strongest, and Smallest….”, I was sold (well, still trying…). I found everything I needed in 3 clicks, navigating through your medical balloon wonderland like I was the one that designed this superb web engineering. I just wanted to say thanks, from one techno nerd to another.

Sincerely,

Frustrated Techno Tosser Terry

[It worked, I got an email in 2 hours, quote ready to go. :)]